contentment vs complacent

this month so far despite going through peak has been pretty good. so happy for my gal pal who has finally put an end to all that crap in her life and found someone fantastic. Can't wait to go to Europe next year to see my lil niece/nephew as well.

Today was a pretty good day for me. Met the bff for brunch and did some retail therapy. The sales person went "2nd piece will be 20% off and today is the last day." And i ended up spending another half an hour at the store desperately wanting to buy something to get the 20%. I know right, doesn't make any sense. An accountancy grad and i can't even do the basic math. The bff was like WHY MUST U BUY THE SECOND PIECE. I don't know ok!? Shopping makes me irrational. My mind is just focused on last day and 20%. And i was messing up one rack after another and i swear she was gg to clobber me any second. The end result was me swiping 80 bucks for a denim like top and an anchor print tank top. damn you japanese brands. So much for wanting to save up and to only do shopping in bkk. but bkk is next year. that is like more than a month away which is more than i can bear at this moment.

2012 is too fast for me! one more month and it will be 2013. we are making xmas plans for christ's sake. Xmas!! What in the world happened in xmas 2011? shiaaaat.

Found this via buzzfeed. i get goosebumps from seeing these pics. The way tt the president (CHEERS TO HIS WIN!) looks at his wife. the amount of love they have for each other is so genuine, that they were meant for each other from the very beginning.

 
 i cried like a baby as well when i watch michelle's speech on youtube.

 there are times when i look around and go what is the point? That i am just aimlessly floating around. There is nothing to look forward to, nothing to work towards to. it is like a routine. i wake up i go to work and i come home and the cycle just repeats. and i start tossing around all these questions about life which i have no answer for which makes me extremely frustrated because i can't find a satisfied answer to them. So many whys, i could go on and on abt the unfairness of it all and still i am stuck at square one. Once in a while, i do dip my toes slightly in the shadows, where life cease to exist. i picture the gore the gruesomeness, sometimes i picture it to be swift and painless. either way, there is some kind of sadistic satisfaction to it; that if i wanted to i could totally step over to the other side. 

this is becoming too depressing. bleah. thank god for my happy friends. sometimes i think i am just leeching off their positivity.