cringe

While waiting for the pet store to open to drop off the dog, i was aimlessly surfing the net. And then i got bored and started re-reading some of the stuff i wrote.

OMG. Bad choice. I am like wow, I do write pretty lame crap. I think after 5-6 posts I stopped and pretended all the other few hundred posts never existed. And then I remembered I had another private one somewhere so I dug it out and read every single post. There were only around 10 of them and they were dated 4-5 years ago. Reading them make me want to throw up. Like literally. The previous one was more of laughing at myself at writing about the silliest stuff but this one made me want to just throw up my breakfast. Because it was so close to heart. And it made me realise that the young 20ish me (oh man I sound like i am in my fifties now) is still there. I thought I have changed, changed so much that the 5 years ago me probably wouldn't even recognise me now.  But those few posts, the writing reflected so much anger, sadness, indignant. I can't blame the person then because there were pretty shitty stuff going on then and when they all came in one huge snowball, I had no chance against them. I was pretty surprised I managed to even pull myself together and graduate.

So much for a Wednesday morning. Too much in fact. Too much.