breathe

So many things I want to say but I don't know where to start. I'm afraid of the judgement, afraid (or rather get annoyed) of the responses that will come. Is that why people go to therapy? Because that is what most of us want isn't it? Just someone to listen and not judge.

Tucson Photo Diary Week 2

• Went to Waffle House and shared a big breakfast set. How in the world is that one person portion?
• Did grocery shopping at an Asian supermarket because we need our rice, chinese sauces and chinese veges. Oh how i missed hawker centres :(
• Cooked fried rice at home. Actually le hubs cooked while I just did some eyepower like a boss
• First time having tamale (pronounced as ter-mah-lee) and it was yummy! I really love Mexican food (burritos, salsa, tacos, black beans and now tamale)
• Gorgeous sunset on the way home

We went to Catalina State Park to do some morning hike. It wasnt super tough but the waterpools were waaay too far so we turned back at a peak point. Plus the sun was coming up and we didnt want to end up as 2 dried up corpses. Too sad a way to die.

Week 1 in Tucson

I have decided to (sort of) document my time here in Tucson for memories sake and hope to fill this space with some nice pictures. Going back to pre-Tucson, I was working till the day before I was scheduled to fly because I wanted my bonus and my big boss was incredibly nice to give a nice little bonus, "as a farewell gift" as he put it. So basically said my farewells, packed my table (it was a WAY WAY WAY shorter and less painful process compared to the leaving of the previous company where I amassed a ton of crap. To be fair, I was there way longer. Anyway, thanks to the clean desk policy at the next company, I didn't have too much stuff because I was too lazy to clean up the desk everyday before I go home. Then again, I see my colleague simply swiping everything into her drawer...) and rushed home to do some last minute packing.

Woke up the next day for my flight, said my goodbyes, did the standard picture taking with my in-laws, gugu, er jie, elliot and le bff and off I went! ON BUSINESS CLASS (Since I dont exactly make big bucks nor does le hubs, it is a big thing to take business class. Damn suaka to be so excited but this is probably the first and last time (actually, secretly hoping this is NOT the last time. Got to drop some (not to subtle; cuz men) hints to le hubs). The seat is so damn comfy; so much leg room; can totally be converted into a bed; blah blah blah. Basically business class = THIS IS FRIGGIN HEAVEN. How to go back to Economy class!! (stares hopefully at le hubs).

Reached LAX airport and yeap, it is crap compared to Narita Airport. They have the most ridiculous system. After passing custom, there is another "custom" where they just simply collect your custom card?!!??! Why can't they just collect it at the custom point? At the next "custom" point, the guy looked at me and said "I like Japan". I was thinking "我又不是日本人" -.-

Anyways safe and sound now in Tucson. Did a ton of furniture shopping and now it is looking more like a livable apartment rather than a slum. So far, all I did was clean the house, grocery shop, gym and then clean the house again. So much for a taitai life which everyone was envious about. The bedroom and living room are carpeted and I find carpets absolutely filthy and disgusting. WHY CANT U JUST HAVE NORMAL WOOD FLOORING?!?! Cleaning will be such a breeze! I vacuum everyday, and I still wear slippers to walk around because. SO FILTHY. Ordered 2 huge rugs to so that I can minimise stepping on the carpets when I don't feel like wearing my bedroom slippers.

Suddenly, it feels like living by yourself isn't as glamorous as I envisioned it to be. It is only glamorous when you don't have to do any household chores. They are super time consuming. My days so far like I mentioned is filled with cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, ironing and packing. Great I just made myself sound like a maid -.- What happened to wearing super chic clothes, popping by Starbucks and then walking around and taking nice pictures???? Hopefully when things settle down and I ever get my hands on a driving license (that is another story on how I badly want to wring le hubs neck).

Just a simple bucket list that I hope to accomplish in my time here:-

• Travel to South America (this where I also want to wring le hubs neck because it seems almost impossible for him to nail down his leave)
• Painting class (that is when I get my driver's license. Which i hope is SOON)
• Become a better cook (yet another story where I want to wring le hubs neck. How come I seem to always want to wring his neck...)
• Brush up on my Japanese
• Have kid (maybe?) (Another story for another day)
• Travel to other parts of America (San Fran! New York (Oh I have missed you NYC!) Las Vegas! Chicago! Portland!)

Hi grumpy

Is it possible to dread one of the supposedly greatest day of your life? "Supposedly" because i cant agree how having 70% of the ppl at a "greatest day of my life" event that i have never ever met nor care would conjure a happy image. And of course the table seating. So. Painful. I. Can't. Even. Dont even let me get started on all the stuff that we are suppose to buy all in the name of chinese tradition. 

No wait i want to get started on it. Because it was one of e rare moments where i literally rolled my eyes (most of the time is an imaginary eye roll out of courtesy to the rolled-at party) and had to use my handphone to keep my fingers busy (which means bitch texting to e bff)., else the same fingers will be wrapped ard the dude's throat at the store selling wedding stuff. SERIOUSLY my future baby is not gg to be blessed just because i bought a fugly cheap plasticy crap that is meant to be a bathing tub okay?!?!? TELL ME WILL ROLL EYES ANOT. Wtf. And i have already said beforehand i just want the bloody tea set and porcelain bowl set, so quit trying to sell ur whatever shitty set at extorbitant prices in e name of chinese tradition ok? Got so mad that i went to taobao to get them instead (which is cheaper btw).

And to the part which to me is the most important, the solemnisation, could potentially end up to be ruined by the said 70 percent ppl loitering ard to pass time. Cannot chase them away or something. May need to do something drastic like setting up a bloody carnival elsewhere to keep them occupied so i can say my vows in presence of ppl who truly care. 

Word of advice, dont have a banquet if u can get away with it. Unless u are marrying someone where money isnt an issue and all e misc stuff is settled for you and All u fret abt is what to wear.

flashback

Flash of certain images, texts. Emotions resurfacing. Feel a little comforted, a little angry, a little happy, bits of regret, perhaps a little guilt. Too many too little. It is going to be a tough long night.

twenty seven

Turning twenty seven in an hour's time fifty-two minutes (because I am anal like that)!

Aaaaand... yeap. That's it. It feels the same turning 26. And 25. And 24. Maybe a slight difference - NO MORE PEAK! Woots! Apart from that, life goes on. I am such a wet blanket on my own birthday.

The initial plan of just rotting my life away chilling at home, watch a lot of some TV (omg Scandal is SO SO SO GOOD. I don't particularly like anyone in the show but the plot is full of twists and damn exciting! I am rather undecided on Huck and Quinn. I kind of like Huck because he is just plain psycho in some scenes but sometimes he is kind of whiny which irritates me. The same goes for Quinn. Oooh and Jake is hot.), go for my run had to be ditched because of last minute plans.  Actually, by normal standards, it is not really last minute since it was planned the day before. Bu by my super anal standards, anything not planned at least 3 days in advance = last minute. I am the place where all spontaneity comes to die. But this time i shall let this particular spark of spontaneity live because I am feelin' magnanimous. And also I get to torture play with my gf's hair and face! 

An extension of exciting stuff (by exciting means having some kind of social life and not having my butt firmly attached to my chair, wearing my PJs and watching TV) would be moving to a new floor for my work! My new seat is awesome shizz because to my back are windows. Which means, NO ONE CAN SEE WHAT I AM DOING ON MY COMPUTER -rub hands with glee- Then again, the company blocks almost every damn thing you can think of which leaves me with ... IRAS website, MAS website and investopedia. 

On the plus side, it is on the 8th floor (we used to be seated at 13th. And no the plus side is not because it is on an auspicious floor) and that means no more going into lift rage when every other bloody person in the damn lift presses a lower floor number which translates to taking 10 bajillion years to get to my floor. Especially so when you are going to be late and the lift STOPS AT EVERY DAMN FLOOR FROM THE 4th TO THE 12th. I admit that I sometimes do the douchey thing which is to furiously jab at the close button the moment I step into the lift because statistics have shown that 99% of the people who enter the same lift with me alights at a lower floor. Dont give me judgy eyes because I am sure everyone has done that at one point or another. Right??!? Right.

And what is all this positivity without some not-so-good stuff to balance it out. Still kind of fuming over some personal stuff. It didn't happen to me so all i am sayin' is YOU DONT JUST COME AND MESS WITH MAH GIRL AND EXPECT TO WALK AWAY UNSCATH. Not that I am going to do anything (unless you count wishing upon that person constipation and pimple explosion) because there really isn't much I can do.  I hate feeling helpless and I wish I had the super power to just take it all away. Or strike the 10 million lottery and just whizz my girl away on an awesome trip. And buy a couple of Chanels. And Ferragamos. And that super cute dress I saw which cost an obscene amount of money. 


Ending in the most abrupt and awkward manner (just like I am in real life. Ball of awkward. And occasional grumpy), a picture of my pretty gf (doubling up as proof that there is at least one person out there who loves me and all my awkwardness and grumpiness).

 
 

 

三百六十五天

Happy three sixty five to us! Hopefully another sixty more 365s (unless death - the grand plan is to live till ard eighty-ish but if fate says to expire before that, then so be it; or divource gets to us first). 

Xoxo

The ever pessimist